Mistakes are not novelties of life. Every minute of each day one of us make mistakes and they can be grave or reversible, known or private. A mistake is only the outcome of a choice we made. They can range from a prison sentence, a written off car or an incurable sexually transmitted infection (STI). In each case, either we hurt ourselves or someone else is hurt whether physically or emotionally.
I hope this article helps you to live a joy-filled life without being haunted by your past, whether this past is 10 years or 30 minutes ago.
Firstly, there is a danger in carrying the two duos of our mistakes – shame and guilt. These two emotions of fear accompany our mistakes simply because we have created a story of who we are as a result of our choice. They are simply residual and illusory thought forms of a thing that has happened. Secondly, we fear making the same mistakes and therefore live our lives with breaks on. We hide in the shadows and live as a recluse because we have taken on the labels given by others and ourselves – “thief, whore, murderer, an undesirable etc.” This low energy is transferred to other areas of our lives and they too begin to suffer and we die a slow death from within. The fear and labels can cause us to create an identity, albiet false, where we continue making similar decisions because we believe that is who we are. We have roots, but we are like a dried up plant because of the convictions we feed our minds. This is surely not living and if you resonate with the above description, water your mind with these truths …
Accept the decision(s) you’ve made and the outcome no matter how grave they appear. Avoid replaying and wishing things had happened differently by sitting in this present moment. “Take this very instant, now, and think of it as all there is of time. Nothing can reach you here out of the past, and it is here that you are completely absolved, completely free, and wholly without condemnation. From this holy instant wherein holiness was born again, you will go forth in time without fear…” – excerpt from A Course in Miracles, chp. 15. If present moment practice makes little sense, perhaps you can learn about it more but simply put- keep your mind where your body is and your body is always in the now. The reset button is found in every millisecond.
Go deeper. Discover that life is more than what your eyes can see. Realise this by seeking the truth of your existence and you can better place the relevance of what happened in reality. I accept that this may sound a bit esoterical and out there. But I share this because my experience (not even my belief) has shown me that I am more than my body. And the further I have gone in removing the layers of human conditioning, the more at peace I became. My daily spiritual practice has helped me on this path. This practice is to see and share love, to live in the present moment and to feed my mind only the truth which is thoughts of love. It has allowed me to shine the light in all areas of my life and achieve great. Our daily habits either help or harm us, there is no neutrality, we achieve only by an intention. So if you think you don’t have a practice, you do have one and it is either helping or harming you. I encourage you to be intentional with your daily habits/practice to find inner peace and unlimited power.
Therefore, though what has happened may be a significant event, there is no positive movement in spending hours and days toiling over what was. You can surely make amends directly to those who you can or, in your mind and heart you can extend love to them. This is helpful if the person has since died or you are not in touch with them.
Here is a mantra you can say for healing…
I accept that I (state the action) and I recognize that this caused (state what factually happened if applicable, not your opinion). I feel shame and guilt because I have interpreted my mistake to mean that (state the opinion) but I realize that this thought is a slow poison. Having these thoughts about myself prevent me from smiling, expressing myself and living out my life fully. It blocks all possibility of happiness and success and instead filters into other areas of my life causing darkness and drought.
I do not deny what has happened but I refuse to punish myself daily, I refuse to place myself in a box or in small corner of this world at the worry that others would say ‘how dare they live so happy as if they’ve done nothing wrong’, or at the worry that they will think I have zero care or remorse for my past actions. The remorse will only serve as an awareness of the mistake and not a burden or badge I carry on my back to appease others or myself. I will not carry the burden of the past as a demonstration that I have ‘learned my lesson’. I refuse to wait until society or individuals have in their own time forgiven me for my mistake. I am alive and I will live and stand tall. My courage to do this is not a disregard for what was, it is simply out of the recognition that it has passed.
I will let the light within me shine by dropping the baggage and removing the fog and stains that hide who I truly am. I am and will always be who I am and my purpose here is to extend love and I will do that starting now. If I ever drift back to thoughts of pain and self-hatred, I will remember this truth and repeat it to myself.
Feel free to create your own mantra or modify the above.
Now please, free yourself from your own mind of torment. Your joy, your smile and desire to live boldly, despite your past mistakes, will not hurt this world, it will only bring ultimate joy to all.
Love Always,
Shalisha